Spring Cleaning

 "Hello?...Is there anybody in there?.... Just nod if you can hear me. 

Is there anyone at home?..." - Pink Floyd

Has it really been a month already? It too easy to loose track of time - it slips through my fingers like the flow of a river... I can only watch as the constant stream passes all around me. I can't hold onto it and I can't stop it. If at anytime I stumble, the force of the water will wash me downstream...until I can regain my footing. IF I can...

That's what the last few weeks have felt like, completely out of control. From the stress of exams to the drug-induced dopiness of my wisdom teeth removal to the death of a childhood classmate. So much in such a short period of time...

I am pleased though, to assure you that I have a number of playlists created (and some tried and tested at events!) and ready to share as soon as I get my lazy ass back on track and get cracking on some new playlist sites.

I guess, if I had to describe or summarize myself I would say that I live my life through music. As a form of expression and for consolation. I am always listening even when there is no sound - a constant soundtrack in my head. I remember back even as long ago as junior high school, I'd blurt out song names and artists in the middle of conversations with friends whenever I'd hear a song in a restaurant or mall. Always listening...

They exist only on my iPod right now, but I would like to introduce to you my latest (and greatest?) creations: Ikaria and Medea II. Every playlist I create is either a reflection of a particular emotion (eg. Sheena P. Rocker was made exclusively for the purpose of creating a "happy" mood at a party a few months ago... and I promise it will be created here too... eventually) or a reflection of a mindset. Ikaria and Medea II are mindset playlists but I see them more as living entities now, because I've spent so much time thinking, editing and listening to each of them. I guess they are ( or were) stages of me at a certain point in my life. Let me tell you their story.

They aren't two different people, rather, they are the same person but two possible outcomes. Like an alternate scenario, if you will. When I first decided who each of them was, I originally thought that Medea was more haunted, more delicate and that Ikaria was more whole and complete. For quite a few months, Ikaria was who I was - the songs were lighter, more carefree and jovial. Then a couple months ago, Medea II (the older version, Medea, was created last year) was reborn and has kinda stuck with me. Don't misunderstand me, she's not "emo" just a bit more hardened and concerned with the realities of life. Ikaria was always more the dreamer than the pragmatic. But like I said, these last couple months have been tough for me, hence "spring cleaning". Time to clear out all the clutter in my mind and my life. Get rid of useless things and shed bad habits (of which there are quite a few, I am sorry to admit) and make room for new goals and aspirations (yay for spring, right?).

......

In addition to music there are always words bouncing around in my head. Old words, new words, words that I only read once and suddenly remember again. Like an inner thesaurus... and if I tipped my head to the side and smacked it like a ketchup bottle, the words would come spilling out of my ear, pooling onto the ground (and then I'd probably slip in it later...)

......

heh, WELL in other news, I'm SUPER stoked for Lady Gaga's Born This Way which comes out May 23!!! I'm definitely a "little monster" - even got the 'mickey mouse' glasses to boot!

(Except mine aren't darkened on the inside lens)

Anyhoo, I'd better go catch that sandman before I get too hungry... it's been so long since I ate dinner, it's almost time for breakfast now *facepalm* 

 

Bad habits die hard, right?

P.S. Oh, and I didn't forget the music - here's a nice little song to go with the post:

New Low by Middle Class Rut

I've been listening to this for a few months but I still love the lyrics:

I have no space
No room to move around
And this box is getting smaller
I'm trying to get out

How did I get so far
From where I was
When did I decide
To lose my way
Who have I become

I've got a new low
All 52 cards in a row
I see now that I won't let go
No I won't let go

Well who am I?
A cold shoulder left to cry
You feel bow-wow so do I
Yeah so do I

I've been right; I've been left
I've been wrong; I've been left behind
I've been up but mostly down (dayyumm! Isn't this chorus line just pure gold?)

I've been right; I've been left
I've been wrong; I've been left behind
I've been up but mostly down

I can not help feeling like
I have so much at steak
So I lock myself inside my head
And I just run in place

So many directions I don't
Know which way to go
I'm so busy doing nothing
I got nothing to show

I've got a new low
All 52 cards in a row
I see now that I won't let go
No I won't let go

Well who am I?
A cold shoulder used to cry
You feel bow-wow so do I
Yeah so do I

I've been right; I've been left
I've been wrong; I've been left behind
I've been up but mostly down

I've been right; I've been left
I've been wrong; I've been left behind
I've been up but mostly down

I make mistakes
Just like everybody else
But instead I'm letting go of it
I can't forgive myself

Well I did my time
In the window of this box
Like it or not
All I got now is today
Tomorrow aint here
And yesterday is gone dead on me anyway

I've been right; I've been left
I've been wrong; I've been left behind
I've been up but mostly down

I've been right; I've been left
I've been wrong; I've been left behind
I've been up but mostly down